Bittersweet

Steve has been my most unlikely friend in a likely place. I remember the day we met. I was dating Tim and we headed to the Baja. It was an awkward night. I was recently divorced, and not used to sitting in bars. We walked in and I saw Steve. He kept staring at me. The only thing I remember him saying to me was that everything would be all right.


Over time, I would see him at the Casino (he was a Poker dealer). He would say random things to me and I would laugh because they were so odd. He ended up finding me on myspace, and we exchanged emails.


I enjoyed his humor, and soon found out that Steve was an alcoholic. Everyone warned me about Steve. They told me that he was weird, odd, an alcoholic, untrustworthy and so on.


He ended up lying to me. I didn't talk to him for months. I don't know how we ended up talking, but it ended up with an apology on his part.


Over time, we started to become friends at work. I tend to forgive too easy. I've really never known a sober Steve. It's always been a drunk Steve. We started hanging out outside of work. The rumors were flying. I've never been one to care.


I remember the first day I took him to his home. I think that is when I met the real Steve, instead of asshole Steve. He bawled his eyes out for over an hour. Steve has always been phobic of kids. He called them allergies. I couldn't ever understand why until that night. He had a baby that he and his wife gave up for adoption. Why he chose to not like kids after that was his choice. It made sense in an odd way.


Seeing a grown man cry is a weird feeling. It's not something you see all the time. I've seen Steve cry more in the last four months than I've seen Makena cry in her whole seven years.He leads a sad life of alcoholic binging.

Steve spent the holidays with my family. I think it is the most normal thing he has ever done. After spending three days with me, he had the shakes. It made me cry. My mom has been clean and sober for four years. She approached Steve about rehab as well as my little sister hounding him. I don't know what it took for Steve to realize he was an alcoholic, but he knew he had a problem.

The most unlikely thing that came out of our friendship was the love that Steve has for my kids. Who knew that a grown kid-hating man could love again. Makena adores Steve, and I hope that he will always be there.

I have approached Steve a few times about rehab. I told him that if he didn't go, that he would be dead by his 36th birthday. It's quite possibly true. The last night I saw him wasted, he could barely walk out to the car. He tripped over a customer, and Jeff had to get him out of the bathroom. I remember sitting on the counter in his bathroom watching him try to brush his teeth and he was crying. He couldn't even brush his own teeth. He threw up and I helped him. I undressed him, put his pajamas on and cried as he passed out. I stayed for a bit and talked to Juls. She won't deal with Steve's drinking anymore. She gave him an ultimatum. Rehab or move.

Steve moved.

The only thing Steve loves more than alcohol is his job. He started screwing up at work. He smelled like alcohol. His job was being affected. Write ups were happening. I don't know what or why, but it finally sunk in that if he didn't go to rehab, he was going to lose his job. He approached his supervisor, and she approached Jerry Allen, the head of the tribe.

Jerry has agreed to pay for Steve's treatment. I am grateful to him for saving my best friends life. Steve has cried three times in the last day. His whole life is alcohol. I am his only sober friend. I couldn't imagine being in his shoes.

Life will be difficult. It's hard giving up everything you know. All I know is that Steve has come to be one of my best friends, and I can't imagine him in my life. I love him. It's a complicated type of love. Not many people understand it. We have the type of friendship where we never have to explain. I don't know how he snuck into my life, but I'm glad he is there.

Truthfully, Steve is odd. He is weird. All the warnings were true. What people forgot to mention was how funny, charming, witty, kind, and wonderful he really is. I am lucky to have met him, and can't wait until we can do our own bucket list.

When Steve is drunk, he loves to tell me how my relationships will fail because I have him as a friend. Maybe so. I haven't met someone that I want to laugh or cry with for the rest of my life as much as Steve, and I'm strangely okay with that.

Feelings fade, but friendship is forever. I will always have Steve as a best friend. He is the rubber and I am the glue. :) March 11 will be a start to a new life for him, and for me. I can't wait for my new friend, Steve.

How incredibly lucky I am.